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i remember when they thought that a tsunami was going to crash into the east coast of australia

and it’s 8 in the morning, my neighbour comes out shirtless, in boardies with a beer and his thongs and he goes

“mate the last thing I need is a tsunami, I just repaved my driveway”

(Source: toohephap, via australiansanta)

3 months ago // 154,356 notes

I had my boyfriend who smokes use matches for a few days instead of a lighter and record the date and time and whatever he was thinking about while smoking. 
It’s funny that he quit smoking a few weeks after this project. 

"Yo Yo Yo! All you sucka MCs ain’t got nothin’ on me! From my grades, to my lines you can’t touch Kevin G! I’m a mathlete, so nerd is inferred, but forget what you heard I’m like James Bond the third, sh-sh-sh-shaken not stirred - I’m Kevin Gnapoor! The G’s silent when I sneak through your door. And make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don’t play it like Shaggy, you’ll know it was me. Cause the next time you see her she’ll be like, OOH! KEVIN G!" 

(Source: itssimplysam23, via alriyt)

3 months ago // 86,315 notes

my blog will make you horny ;)

where do i buy these cards